Loss of your instrument puts you at a severe disadvantage.

Jealous girlfriends with paranoia don't last.

Play an instrument before you buy it.

Buy new strings as often as you can afford them.

Don't get into fistfights unless there is no other way available.

Certain musicians are loyal, the rest are not.

When other musicians are playing in a particular key, you should too.

Always try to pick up the tempo from the count.

If you don't like the speed that a song is being played at, then you count it off.

Be in tune.

If you try to carry on a conversation while playing, something is going to suffer, probably the music.

When in doubt play nothing.

Good players play better than bad players.

It seems that most, (not all) really good drummers tend to be on the skinny side.

If an agent promises you something don't believe it, but get it in writing anyway.

Musicians should always try and figure out if their music is going over or not.

If your music is going over, do more of it.

If your music is not going over play less of it.

Remember! Do not confuse the audience.

If you do confuse the audience, make sure they like it.

Play music you like.

Remember, if playing music isn't much fun, then back up and re-evaluate what the hell you are doing.

Don't worry if your songs are corny, there are lots of corn pone lovin' people out there.

Play music you are good at.

Make friends with someone that works at a music store.

Always insist on a discount on strings, sticks, and other little stuff at the music store. Forty percent off is good.

Never pay retail.

Try to be very careful about using drugs, don't die from it.

Don’t let drugs mess up your playing; if they do, it is time to quit playing and go home, gracefully if possible.

If you ever have a panic attack on stage don't let the audience know it is happening.

If the microphone shocks you, turn your ground, change shoes, or get a rug to stand on.

If the club manager fires you after the second set, try and figure out what you did wrong.

If the club manager fires you after the first set something is very wrong.

If the club manager fires you after the first song; break up the band and start a new one.

Don't ever rest on your laurels because you will squash them, flatten them, bend and break them.

Try to get better at your art all the time.

Don't just play music; think about music , talk about music, read music, write music, listen to music.

With just twelve little notes God created an infinity.

Please remember, bathe, keep clean, and smell nice; it will help you go further in your career.

If people in the audience seem to want something then give it to them.

Don't go with girlfriends, or any friends, who cause problems at the gigs.

If somebody in the band gets too high at the gig, be very intense with them an try to get them down by sheer force of will. If you can't do that, then they can't play.

Do not use cheap instruments on gigs; they don't sound as good as expensive instruments: borrow if you have to.

Try to keep your ego under control, people notice, and after a while they begin to dislike you.

Respect other musicians no matter how good or bad they are, you were like them once, or you hope to be.

It doesn't matter if you are young or old, it only matters how you play.

When you are playing music you aren't "playing," but it is just as much fun.

We are all trying to play music.

Allow for silence.

Listen to the recognized masters: James Brown, The Beatles, Otis Redding, Charlie Parker, Mozart, etc.

After playing for years and years, even the thought of music is sickening, but the moment passes.

Don't get too caught up in the adulation that may come.

Remember, you are not the greatest musician, you can always get better, and there will always be people better and worse than you.

Very, very few of us are irreplaceable in the band, they can always find another player, but none of us are replaceable in the hearts of others.

If something goes wrong, don't panic.

If you play long enough you will be in a lot of bands.

Don't stand with your back to the audience unless you're the conductor.

If it's not too much trouble, and it can be, help every musician who needs it.

When singing be sure to listen to yourself.

When playing any instrument, be sure to listen to yourself.

Before you leave the house for the gig, make sure you have your instrument with you.

If you get too drunk you can't play, sing, or drive.

Stop and smell the bar smoke.

It doesn't matter if you are sick, if you are not dead, you have to play the gig.

If you are sweating too much, there is something wrong. It could be lights, it could that you are playing outside in Summertime, or you are just killin' it to death. Dig it!

Keep an open mind about what is currently happening musically.

Don't knock older music and say," it sucks."

Remember: if you can't sing it, you can't play it.

If the club manager tells you to turn down, probably you should.

The previous point is of course contingent on how big the crowd is, and if they are into it, even  though the club manager may not be. Then just lie to him/her and act like you are turning down.

It is good to be eclectic, but it is also good to play music people like.

If a fight breaks out, stay on stage, if it becomes really violent, find something to hide behind and wait until it's over.

Never let rednecks intimidate you.

Your best friend in life, the one who never leaves you, is your instrument. If you happen to be a singer also, then you are never alone.

I think there were seventy-six trombones in the big parade.

Music makes people smile, laugh, dance and sing; go figure.

Music has power to soothe the savage yeast.

Elvis is King.

Michael was Prince of Pop, Aretha is Queen of Soul, James Brown is the Godfather of Soul. There are dukes, earls and counts, and the list goes on.

Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter, Clarence Carter…

And now we would like to play "Stairway to Freebird."

When they tell you to break a leg, don't take it seriously.

If moons are blue, and sunrises are tequila, and tambourines are green, and rabbits are white, then what are jempilixens.

Help I Need Somebody, Not Just Anybody.

Very frustrated musicians or lonely hunky, not very good looking young guys, make good roadies.

If you don't like James Brown there is something wrong with you.

If you don't like Marvin Gaye, maybe you should select another career.

In my humble opinion: If you don't like the Beatles you are dead.

Learn to play "Happy Birthday"  and
"Auld lang Sine", and a good anniversary song.

If everybody in the band hates your song, it might not be any good.

Try not to break a string while you are putting on a new set.

If you can help it, don't play in clubs where they are allowed to carry guns.

If you ever have to play in a gay bar, act very aloof.

Don't be prejudiced against anyone for any reason.

Don't be bigoted, closed minded, closed off. Learn to love everyone, everything, and all kinds of music.

Don't be mean to people.

Play music because you love it and because you can't help yourself.

Hit the road Jack, and don't ya come back no more, no more, no more, no more.

Call your best, sweetest lovin'  gal  or guy, "Sugar Pie", or "Honey Bunch."

If that doesn't work, then call your lover just plain "honey."

The ancient yogis used to say that music was the highest of the arts, because it is the least gross. By gross they meant the least "physical "

of the arts.  Now ain't that profound.

A musician's life can be awfully tough, so therefore, you be tough, but for God's sake, be flexible, and keep a good sense of humor.

Keep hope in your heart, joy in your art, and limberness in your fingers.

Rejoice in each accomplishment and learn from every failure.

What would the world be without music?

Let's twist again like we did last Summer.

It's good to have goals, but of course later, when they don't come true, it is not good to get depressed about it.

If ever on the gig your nose starts running down on your lip, right in the middle of a song, don't worry about it, the audience will think it's sweat.

Every musician who sticks with it long enough wants to make it, however, most don't.

If your wife, or girlfriend gets sick of you, that's bad.

Musicians sometimes act weird, ignore it.

If you are drawn to the dark side of the force, resist with "Soul Power."

A musician's life can be extremely tough -- you be tough, but for God's sake, be flexible, adaptive, and keep a good sense of humor.

Keep hope in your heart, joy in your art, and limberness in your fingers.

Rejoice in each accomplishment, and learn from every failure.

Try to encourage every young person who wants to be a musician.

keep playing even if you feel like quitting.

When life picks you up and slams you all over the place, beats you unmercifully, just remember, your in instrument is over there in the corner, and only waiting for your touch.